when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
