nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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