Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
