dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
