It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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