Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
