He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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