Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
