I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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