The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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