Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
