Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
