Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
high people should be assigned attendants
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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