im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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