We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
