She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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