man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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