I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
