Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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