I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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