you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
this will be a night to untag.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
