i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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