You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
