Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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