My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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