my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
