i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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