sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
