I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize