lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
