I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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