Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My boob is missing a layer of skin
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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