i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize