if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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