My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
