There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
