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• (801): View more from Utah

  My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  whats a bus flip?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  idk but apparently i invented it

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?

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