i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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