I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
