So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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