I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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