I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize