a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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