WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
