is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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