Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
