You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
