Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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