Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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