i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
