Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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