saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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