I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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