just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize