I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
