I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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