I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
