he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
