So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
