were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
