Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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