After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
