so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
