i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Couch. On fire.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize