every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
