btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
