If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
