The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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