Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
