My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
