I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
