Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
