VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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