Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
